Thursday, September 6, 2012

Everything Will Be Different...

Having a child will be one thing that without a doubt will change our lives as we know it.

It will change nearly every detail of our daily lives. Our schedules will be different, work will be different, sleep will be different, meals will be different, our time together will be different...things will just be different.

I understand all of this, but that doesn't keep me from yearning to be a momma. It's a constant battle in my mind of whether or not I'm ready to be a mom. How do you KNOW? How does one know it's time and she's ready?

This will sound so shallow and ludicrous but bare with me here. You know how some people can't wait to get married? The only problem is, they're in love with the idea of a WEDDING, not a MARRIAGE. They can't wait for the beautiful dress and the beautiful flowers and for all eyes to be on them. But when the wedding's over they're struck by the reality that there's actually a marriage to be tended to. One person for the rest of your life, for better or worse. When I met Kory there was no question in my mind that he would be the man I'd spend the rest of my life with. A wedding was just a bonus.

Sometimes I wonder if it's the same thing with children. People fall in love with the IDEA of having a baby. Like all of the fun stuff-the shower, cute baby clothes, the nursery, baby names and so on. They don't think about getting up multiple times in the middle of the night, having to feed the baby while attempting to feed themselves and things like not being able to run quick errands alone. These are some, just some, of the changes that come along with a baby.

My point is, how do I know that I'm not just  intrigued by the IDEA of having a baby? How do I know that I'm 100% ready? Does anyone else have this problem? If you are a parent how did you come to the decision to have a little one? Did you know what you were signing up for, or did you underestimate the responsibility? Were you ready to give up nights alone with your significant other and nights out on the town with all your friends?


There's also my work situation. Taking time off is so tough right now. Being pregnant would also prevent me from doing 95% of the work I do. And there's the constant guilt of thinking that I'm leaving my mom hanging. These are all things that I have to take into consideration.

I know these things sound so selfish, but I just want to make sure I'm asking myself all of the right questions.

As you can tell, I think about this a lot. Am I alone? Are there any other ladies out there trying to figure out when the time is right? Please let me know your thought process or how you came to the decision!

Thanks for listening to me ramble.
xx,
Melissa Loren

7 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh, I recently wrote a post about my struggle with the whole family planning question as well http://www.reneweduponadream.com/2012/08/getting-over-it-having-baby-will-ruin.html I totally feel you...

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  2. Hey girl! You're right on with your thoughts and honestly it'd be selfish if you weren't exploring all those ideas. Hoag and I knew we were ready bc we settled into our new lives as ranchers and felt something was missing. Now, granted, we don't have a booming social life (unless you count nights in the fields with our cows). But luckily out lifestyle meant I could stay home with hoagie.

    It's not easy and there were more sacrifices that I didn't even think about, ( my body, sex life 'TMI'!!, creative time and still not being able to eat and drink whatever I want for another 9 months!) but the pay off is worth it a million times over.

    You'll never know for sure but you can rest easy knowing God knows and he'll give you that beautiful baby when it's in His plan.

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  3. The only answer I know...is probably not the answer you are looking for. You will never be 100% ready for a baby. Every child is completely different...and that’s the joy and excitement of it all. It will never be the 100% perfect time to have a baby...there will always be that vacation you never took, or that book you never read, or that job you have. Not everything is going to pan out perfectly to tell you it’s the right time. I think you are very aware of what it takes to be a mother and to have a child. You said it yourself, you know everything will be different, you understand that. And as long as you and Kory are ready for everything to be different...I think you are ready. :)

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    Replies
    1. I completely agree with everything she said, including that you ARE ready.

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  4. I am totally with you. I am at the same point in my life. Am I ready for a baby? Or do I just like the idea of a baby? Am I ready to give up some things in my life? Mine and Kyle's random weekend trips? Am I ready to lose sleep and all the other things that come with having a baby? I wish I could give you some advice on when you know you are ready, but I am right there with you. I just wanted to thank you for writing this post. It is nice to know that I am not the only one!!

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  5. I started leaving a comment and then thought screw it and wrote this http://www.balancinghome.com/2012/09/am-i-ready-to-have-children.html

    Great post by the way :)

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  6. Thanks for all your kind comments and shared posts, ladies. I love it. Your support is overwhelming!

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