Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Something is just, off...

Jacket: Old BCBG, Shirt: Forever 21, Pants: Nordstrom Rack, Boots: h&m

I haven't done one of those Self-Photo/Ramble posts in a while and I have so many thoughts going on in this head of mine, that I figured today would be a good day for one. You're ok with that, right? Ok, good. To start, everyone here in Missouri is preparing for the "Snowpocalypse,"which means that everyone is already actin' a fool. They're already practicing their best grandma driving and flooding the grocery stores. I never prepare for anything, so screw the groceries and I drive a truck, so if you see me on the road tomorrow, just move to the right lane. Please and thank you. Next, what is this mood I've been in lately? You guys probably haven't noticed it, because I've been trying really, really hard not to blog about it, but then I saw this post and it gave me the sort of courage to just go ahead and write about my mood. It's seriously like she pulled the words right from underneath me. The honesty in her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought no way is someone else feeling the exact way that I am. I know that I'm not alone in my stress...my worry...my longing for more...my need for change...my sadness. I know I'm not alone, but doesn't it always feel that way when we're at our worst? Like my friend, I've had this funk, for a while now and I can't escape it. The worst part is I can't explain it. I don't know why. I don't know where it came from. I don't know how to get out of it. I have no legitimate complaints, so what could I possibly be so affected by? Or maybe times are tougher than they seem, but I've just programmed myself to tolerate so much that I think I can't be phased by worry or stress or doubt. Does any of this make sense? Do you ever just feel like things are wrong? Things aren't how you imagined them? I don't want to ramble too much craziness here, but if you're feeling just a little bit lost in this world, you're not alone! I think it's ok to feel this way. It's just a phase. Heck, I'm 25. I feel like I'm still learning who I am and what I want and need from this life. You have to fall down to get back up, right?

Anyway here's the other randomness that always goes along with my rambles...

Obsessing over: My mood, obviously right? Oh you want something positive? Fine, I'm obsessing over my friends pop-up shop coming March 4th. Go like Hello Cheeseburger to get ready for it!

Working on:
Blog posts. Lots and lots of posts, I need to keep this ball rolling. Agreed?

Thinking about:
Hmm, what am I thinking about? As you can tell, there's so much going on over here. I can't really nail down what I'm thinking about, but I am wondering how much snow is a coming...

Anticipating:
The Mrs. Carter Show. Aka Beyonce's tour. I'm not sure how or who with, but I will be going. Hopefully. I'm rooting for Chicago. Are any of you guys going?? Who wants to go with me??

Listening to:
Explosions by Ellie Goulding. It's beautiful. Have a listen if you haven't already. I've also been listening to a ton of Gary Allan. That ol' guy's songs are so sad and depressing and I love it.

Eating:
Nothing good. I've been eating terribly. I've lost my way on the food train. Hopefully I'll board the healthy express again soon.

Wishing:
I had more control over time. Wouldn't you love a rewind/fast forward button, from time to time? I feel like I've said this one before. In the case that I did, I'll make an extra wish...I wish that I had the recipe for Gram & Dun's pig wings. Done.

How's that for possibly the craziest post ever? I'm tellin' ya, I don't know what the deal is. Regardless, I hope the rest of you have a FABULOUS Thursday and if it's snowing where you read from, be safe and stay warm!
xx,
Melissa Loren

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