Tuesday, May 21, 2013

{Let's Talk Ectopic}

I'll start by saying that I'm sharing this post for two reasons:

1.) I want to document every detail of this pregnancy, so that I can remember it and look back on it. I also want to refer to it during any possible future pregnancies.

2.) Just incase there is someone out there(like me) who doesn't know what and ectopic pregnancy is and maybe, hopefully it will help you be just a little less scared.

I found out I was pregnant on the morning of March 2nd. Later that night, when I got home from work, I came home and shared the exciting news with my husband. We were both in awe, we were so thrilled to be having a baby.

Six days later we were rushing to the E.R., holding hands nervously and praying that everything would be ok.

I had been having extreme abdomen pain for a couple of days, paired with intense bleeding. I tried to just deal with it and even ignore it as much as possible, but it finally got to a point where I couldn't contain my agony. I called the nurse and explained to her the symptoms I was having, she followed by asking me several questions and checked my blood work from the day before. I could hear the nervousness in her voice as she asked me questions and it became apparent that I was answering the questions the opposite of what she wanted to hear.

Eventually she told me that she thought I was having an ectopic pregnancy and that it was something to be taken very seriously. I said ok, but I really had no idea what she was talking about. I had never heard of it and I admittedly know very little about the woman's reproductive system. I know, shame on me. She told me that all ultrasound appointments had ended for the day and that I would need to go to the emergency room immediately.

At this point I started to worry a little, but I was still a little bit out of the loop. I called Kory and told him the news. He said he would meet me at home and then we would head to the E.R., as we were both coming from work. Before leaving for the E.R. he did his research to figure out what exactly we were dealing with. I remember sitting in the car and seeing the panic/fear/disappointment on Kory's face. He asked me if I knew what an ectopic pregnancy was and I said, "yes, it's a tubular pregnancy and we would lose the baby." And then he said..."and possibly you."

In an ectopic pregnancy the egg will stay in either your fallopian tube or will possibly attach to an ovary. In this case, the pregnancy is not viable and the mother is at risk of an internal hemorrhage.

I mean, you go from being the happiest you've ever, ever been in your entire life to being panic-stricken. I had no idea. I'd never heard of this, I did't know what to make of it, I didn't want to lose my baby-or my life.

I laid back in the hospital bed as they inserted the IV into my hand and the doctor explained to me what would happen over the next few hours and what all of the possible outcomes were, good and bad. Kory held my hand tight as tears poured down my face. I fought so hard to hold them back and not let the doctor see me cry, but it was just too much. Even within a week I had already grown so attached to the life inside of me.

I know for a fact that I have never prayed harder for something.

For four and a half hours I would be ran through the ringer. I was six weeks pregnant and I couldn't eat incase they had to perform emergency surgery.  Every test humanly possible was performed, to see if that babe was inside my fallopian tube or inside my uterus. It was painful and uncomfortable and down right stressful.

After all the tests were done we waited. And waited. And waited. It felt like an eternity before the doctor came in to talk to us to give us the results.

As it turned out, the praying worked. Or I like to think it did at least. The doctor said that I was having a possible miscarriage, but that the embryo had made it to my uterus and that it had for sure closed(you want the uterus to close to keep your little nugget safe). He assured me that he didn't see any true signs of a miscarriage and that I shouldn't be too worried, but to keep an eye out just incase. He leaned more towards the idea that my body was still not sure if it should be having a menstrual cycle or not and that it may have been something as minute as gas.

Either way it was terrifying and it was definitely something that I wish I had known more about going in. Pregnancy is just a roller coaster of events and emotions that can never be replaced. It's exhausting, it's exhilarating and it's painful at times, but it's the most wonderful experience.

-Melissa Loren

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