Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Heavy On My Heart and Mind...

Lately my biggest question with having this baby, is work. 
With what I do and the fact that my mom is the owner and my boss, I of course worry about leaving work. I care about my job and our business so much and I would never want to leave my mom hanging. 
So obviously I worry about leaving, BUT, at the same time, I worry about returning to work. 
Right now we're looking at me staying home for 12 weeks, but will that be enough? Will I be ready to return? Will baby be ready for me return? I question if we'll have our breastfeeding routine down by then or if we'll be rock stars at cloth diapers by then. 
Right now I work right around 40 hours a week, sometimes more. However, prior to being pregnant, I easily worked 50-60 hours a week. I can't stay away. It's just become routine for me to be there. I'm an all or nothing type of girl. I give 100% to everything I do. We've talked about building a nursery at work, but I feel like I won't be able to give myself 100% to our baby or work in that situation. If I'm at work, I'm at work. To stop and breastfeed or change a cloth diaper or just be there for my child in general, will be so tough. Obviously my child is my first priority but I feel like work could be a huge distraction and hindrance. 
Staying home as long as I want isn't really an option, though. And daycare is an absolute last resort in our minds...
When someone asks my mom how long I'll be gone, she says, "She's not coming back!" I die laughing every time she says this. I usually respond with, "She must be planning to pay me still, because if not, I don't know what the hell she's talking about!!" For the record, she'd never pay me if I wasn't there, so don't get any ideas. I wish it worked that way. Haha. 
The thought of such a life-changing transition weighs heavy on my heart. I know people do it all the time, but I don't know if it's what I want. This baby should be my main focus. I want to put my 100% into, him
What did you decide to do? How soon did you go back? Were you breastfeeding or cloth diapering when you returned to work? Regardless if you were breastfeeding or cloth diapering, was the transition hard for you? 
Or did you make the decision to stay home? If so, how did you make it work?
Were there sacrifices or risks in your decision? 
So many questions. I just love this baby boy so much already and the idea of leaving him makes me crazy. I want to be the best mom that I can be and if that means making sacrifices, I'm ok with that. 
xx,
Melissa Loren

5 comments:

  1. It is really hard to leave them. If you have a chance to take him to work, you should take the opportunity!
    I went back to work at 7 weeks and it was entirely too soon, however I didn't have a choice because I had to be off earlier in my pregnancy and the company I worked for only allowed 12 weeks max off. I'm not going to lie, I would cry every day on the way to work. If she would have been at a daycare it would have been even worse, luckily she stayed with my grandma until she was 2.5.
    I never got over leaving her everyday and we decided to make the jump of me not working. I watch a couple of kids a couple of days a week to help cover some of the extras. We don't eat out as much and I don't shop as much. It has been a great thing for our family, and I am much happier. I hope to be able to stay home with baby #2 until they start school and then find a part time job (hey, maybe a server at your restaurant ;) ) while they are in school.


    You have to make the decision for what is best for you!

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  2. We made the decision for me to stay home and it can be tough at times. Not only financially as we learn to survive on one income but also emotionally and mentally. For women like us who have always worked its hard to feel like you're doing enough to contribute to your family. Whatever you decide will be great and your lil boy will thrive in the time and love that he gets with you. They're only babies once !

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  3. We chose for me to stay home while the kids were little. It makes things tight financially but I'm happy I did it. They started going to daycare 1 day a week this month and love it. I guess what I am saying is, I wish there were more part time options. I know some moms that work 2-3 days a week and I think that is ideal!

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  4. It's definitely a tough decision. When we got pregnant we were in the middle of moving from NC to CO. I planned on finding a job but never did. So I became a stay-at-home wife. Which was great actually. I so enjoyed my pregnancy and all the free time I had. And so obviously when Liam was born I kept on staying at home. And then I got pregnant again when Liam was ten months so I still haven't gone back to work. I have to say that I feel really blessed that I've been able to stay at home with my babies. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world...BUT I have learned over the past couple of years that I really want to go back to work. I need to do something with my brain besides take care of young children 24/7. Liam now goes to pre-school five days a week for half the day and it's nice to get a little break, and I'm looking forward to Isabel going to school when she's his age (just a year and a half to go! lol) so that I can look into going to work at least part-time. Everyone is different. I say just wait until you're there to see how you feel, y'know? I have some friends who could not wait to go back to work after they had their babies...and it doesn't make them bad moms or anything...they love their babies, but they love their work too. The point is, don't feel badly one way or another...listen to your heart and your head and make the best decision for your family.

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  5. This is a tough decision and every mom goes through this same conversation in their head. When I was pregnant with my third baby, I knew that I would have to return to work. I was sad because I really wanted to be there for my baby. Not that I didn't love the social interaction but we needed my benefits and paycheck. I too was worried how working would impact our breastfeeding relationship. But with a breast pump, it made it possible for me to offer my baby only breastmilk and we breastfed in the mornings, after i got home from work, and on the weekends. It worked out better than I expected. I have a whole section on my blog related to breastfeeding and a review section that contains reviews on all of the major breast pumps. I hope everything works out. :)

    http://upliftingfamilies.com

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