You all have had to listen to me whine, cry and bitch about breastfeeding for the last three and a half weeks. While I still find it extremely demanding and semi-restricting, I'll admit that I'm starting to come around to it. It's hard, yes, it takes a selfless woman to give of herself so immensely. The fact is though, that I'd be up in the middle of the night with my son whether I breastfed or not. The pain does go away, or maybe my brain has learned to block the pain?? Also, at least with breastfeeding I always have one free hand! Glass half full.
One downside(depending on how you look at it) is that so much depends on the momma. Every two hours you have to offer yourself, something that dad can't do. Those middle of the night feedings, momma is responsible for ALL of them. At 2 am momma can't tap out and ask dad to get this one. This is why it can be easy to resent dad, especially in the early weeks when breastfeeding is the toughest.
Don't let that happen. Here's just a few ways that dad can help keep mom happy and sane. Sane is important. The first weeks are HARD. Mom, don't be afraid to ask, and dad, do NOT be afraid to offer!
1. Give mom a break. Once I have fed H, every now and then Kor will send me to Starbucks for a break and a PSL. He knows I need to feel normal. I need to get out of the house and get some fresh air and a tasty coffee! Even driving makes me feel human again.
2. Feed your momma. Warm up meals for her. Keep snacks and water by her side. Kory has prepared nearly every meal and always tries to make sure I'm fed before he leaves for work.
3. Diaper duty. Enough said.
4.Take baby between(even just some) feedings to calm him. This can be key. Especially since some newborns eat every 2 hours, often with up to 40 minute feedings. That doesn't leave much time in between for mom to have to herself. I give Kory credit on this one because often times it's harder for him since he doesn't have breasts to calm the babe, he has to listen to the him cry more often.
5. Help out with housework. Pick up the house; dishes, laundry, etc. Mom will want to do it all, but it's nearly impossible at first, she needs all the rest she can get.
6. Take care of the pup. It makes me sad how little time I have for Tego. I feel like I forget we even have a dog these days. You guys know how much I love my pup, but this momma stuff is full time. Luckily Kory never forgets to take care of our dog.
I'm sure there are plenty of other things dads can do to pitch in. These are the few that have helped us. I'd love to hear what help you like the most. What does your man do to pitch in? What more can Kory do, do tell! ;)