Wednesday, December 18, 2013

I'm not ready to give up my role...

Ok I feel like I need to write this post, just incase I may have scared anyone or made them second guess breastfeeding. 


It was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, second to birth. I say "was," because I don't think it's hard anymore. Actually I enjoy it...more on that in a minute. 

It's not the world's most convenient task, unless your modesty goes out the window and you're comfortable enough to do it wherever you want. And if you are, rock on mama, I'm proud of you! I'm not quite there yet. I think I would be if other people didn't have to be so antsy about it. Anyway, maybe we'll do a post on breastfeeding in public on another day. 

Even though it isn't always convenient there is something to be said about the bond it creates between mama and baby. The boy needs me. Like needs me. No one else can do for him what I can. That more than justifies it. 

There is pain in the beginning. It goes away though. You just have to stick it out for a few days. Ok more like a couple of weeks, but you can do it!

You have to do it a lot. People tell you that, but you don't get it until you're actually doing it every two hours and you can't leave the couch to pee. BUT, there is major snuggle time involved. You will stare at their toes as they wiggle around innocently and you'll admire their beautiful eyes as they stare up at you. And I promise you'll fall more and more in love during those hours you spend feeding. 

Proof that I actually enjoy it now? The other night my husband took over a night feeding. The plan was to make this our new routine. As I sat in the nursery with them and watched my husband feed our son, I was so overcome with emotion. I'll admit there was a tinge of jealousy, but mostly I felt like my baby didn't need me anymore or at least this was the first step in him not needing me. He isn't even 7 weeks old yet! I'm not ready for him to stop needing me. I left the room to let dad finish his bedtime duties without me hanging over him like a grumpy mama bear. He fed the baby and rocked him to sleep. He came into our room a proud dad, he'd done his part. Woo hoo, I really was happy for him, dads deserve that bonding time too! But boy it sure cut like a knife! 

And then...

About 15 minutes later Henry woke back up. *Cue the big cheesy grins!* I marched out of that bedroom like my poop didn't stink, like I was some sort of saint, like I was about to conquer the world...He does need his mama! I picked Henry up, rocked him for a minute and then I nursed him until he went into a deep baby slumber. Tears rolled down my eyes as we shared this moment. He's ALREADY almost seven weeks, I'm losing time every day. He's growing up so fast so I want to be able to soak up every moment we can together. Nursing is everything. 

You guys, breastfeeding is totally annoying at times, but it's beautiful, and wonderful and something that I'm so proud that I have done. So don't be scared. Don't second guess yourself. If you've been wanting to try it, then do! Even if it's just for a day or a week, it's worth it!

You guys knew I'd come around, didn't you? :)
Melissa Loren

This is in NO way a post against formula! It's purely about me overcoming one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'm proud of it. However you choose to feed your baby is love. You're doing it right either way! We all are, go mamas!


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