My baby cannot talk yet and although he's not yet old enough to talk, he speaks to me everyday. His coos and babbles communicate with my heart better than any spoken words ever have. Being with him everyday fills my life with so much joy.
If I could freeze time I would.
I would freeze the moments when his eyelashes tickle me as he bats them at me while he nurses.
I would freeze those beautiful, ornery smiles he gives me at three am, as if he knows he should be sleeping instead.
I would freeze the moments when his tiny fingers grip my finger so tight, as if to say, "Never let go momma."
I want him to fall asleep in my arms so we can snuggle on the couch all day, for as long as we can.
I want to watch those big, innocent eyes wander, in amazement, as he takes in this big, beautiful, new world.
I want to listen to him babble from the car seat as we run errands. I want to watch his tiny baby belly go up and down as he breathes, ever so softly. Those tiny baby feet...can they stay tiny forever?
You see, it's almost time for me to return to work. Each day I dread the fact that I'm one day closer to being separated from my son and my heart breaks a little bit every time I think about it. I know women leave their children and return to work everyday. I just never imagined that I would. The fact is, though, that I don't have any other option. So like a friend told me, it's time to start looking at the positives of returning to work...
Well, I haven't come up with any yet, but I'm working on it. In the meantime, I'm going to make every last moment I have left, count.
He's only this small for a short time and these moments and milestones won't repeat themselves. This time is for me and my baby.
Excuse me while I go rock him and stare at him all day...everyday. :)