Sunday, February 9, 2014

I am doing a good job.

This weekend was a GOOD weekend. Henry laughed for the first time on Saturday. A big, I'm-happy-as-a-clam, baby belly laugh. It was incredible. And it reminded me that I am doing a good job as his mother. We are doing a good job as parents. 

I'm sure if you're my friend and you've heard me talk or of you've gathered bits and pieces from my blog posts, you've realized that this motherhood gig hasn't come easy for me. It's been a rough few months. Learning my baby's needs, breastfeeding and not sleeping have taken their toll on me. 

From the get-go Henry has been a very high maintenance baby(who do I thank for that?) and for the longest time I thought I was doing everything wrong. I thought I wasn't doing all that I could to make him happy. I thought I wasn't cut out to be a mother. I mean literally, I'd ask myself everyday what I was doing wrong or how I could fix things. He's always been a happy baby, but there was always just a little extra something going on. 

A couple of weeks ago my friend Kristel wrote this post where she added this link to an article about high needs babies. It was like an ah-ha moment for me. It basically described Henry to a t. She too, had a high needs baby. (He's a little bit older now and absolutely adorable, just FYI. :)) The article explains what it's like to have a high needs baby. One that needs to be walked around constantly, one that doesn't sleep easily, one that's demanding and feeds frequently, I could go on and on, but that's what the article is for, have a look at it. Especially if you think you may have a high needs baby, it'll make you feel better. I promise. It made me feel better. It's nothing that I am doing wrong. It truly is just the type of baby we have. I feel tired and drained because I am tired and drained. Henry wants to be held, he wants to be walked around and he wants to nurse. He wants to do all of things all of the time and I do that for him 24/7. It's to be expected that I'm tired. I'm giving him my all. The article let me know that I'm not alone and that I'm not doing anything wrong. He is the way he is and I'm doing just what I need to do by tending to his needs. 

As he's getting older(we're coming up on four months here before too long), his needs have seemed to wind down. Either that or we've really started to figure him out. I think it's a little bit of both. Regardless, things have been much sweeter lately and this little guy of ours is really developing a personality. He's also becoming a little more independent these days. And as he's growing, he's smiling, laughing, playing by himself and snuggling like crazy. All of which make me the happiest momma. 

No matter if you have an "easy" baby(is there such a thing?) or a high needs baby, there's something about being a momma. The instincts kick in no matter how hard it is and you give it all that you can. Some days it's harder than others, but at the end of the day you are always thankful for the sweet bun that you created. And, it's important to remember that you're always doing a good job. 

That big baby laugh was just what I needed this weekend.
xx,
Melissa Loren

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