I never imagined myself with a little boy. I was sure I'd have a daughter. Now that I have a son, I can't imagine my introduction into motherhood being any other way.
As a woman, I admit that it's a bit intimidating to raise a son. I'm responsible for how this boy will grow up. I'm responsible for raising a man. The things I teach him will be a direct reflection of how he treats his first girl friend...his future wife...his own children.
His demeanor. His manners. His sensitivity. His ability to love. All of that depends on the love and knowledge passed on from his momma (and daddy, but for this post, momma.).
I remind myself of this daily. The way I speak to my son will forever be ingrained in him. My patience, or lack thereof, will be passed onto him. The ways I interact with him will set the pace for the rest of his life.
So I choose to speak to him in a calm, motherly manner. I choose to be patient with him. And I choose to spend my time interacting with him on a level that he knows I'm there with him and for him.
Is it easy? Not everyday. Not even all of everyday. I get tired. I get frustrated. I get upset. But, I try everyday to set the tempo for a loving and caring environment. It would be easy to plop him down on his own, place him in front of the tv, let him cry it out...but easy isn't really my style and that wouldn't be fair to him.
So I choose love.
I look at my husband and I see the kind of man I want to raise. His momma did a damn good job. I want Henry to be charming and sensitive like his dad, yet ornery and witty like his dad, too.
I want him to be confident. Gentle, but not fragile. Easy going, but not a pushover.
Most importantly I want my son to be a good person. I want him to know love. I want him to be happy. I want to show him that these feelings should be abundant in his life.
In fact, raising a son can be daunting, but such a blessing at the same time. The love a son has for his mother is undeniable. I look into Henry's eyes and I know that he loves me deeply and truly. And I consider it an honor that I can work to raise a son who will one day make a woman as happy as his father makes me.
I'm lucky to have a momma's boy and I'm going to hold onto our bond forever.