Thursday, May 29, 2014

I laugh at myself now...

Yesterday I spent all of my time loving on my squishy Henry Bear. We laughed, we played, we napped...and then I cried. It's been a while since I had a day where I cried. Silly I know, but I'm an emotional gal and it doesn't take much to trigger the waterworks. Lately we've been tear-free, though. Hallelujah. haha. With the exception of yesterday. I cried for different reasons though. I cried because H-Man is growing so fast. He's changing and learning every single day. I cried because I laugh at myself now for ever crying the days away and for wishing that time would hurry up. Those first few weeks are tough, but good lord they're so precious and you never get them back. I know that the "hard times" are hardly behind us, but at least the shock factor, self-doubt and loneliness is gone. Instead of feeling like I'm the only one out there having a hard time or taking care of a small child, I have my best friend with me every second of the day. I get to explore, adventure and hangout with my best buddy. I'm never alone, because I always have my guy with me...and honestly there is nothing better. That's why I cried, because it's easy to have a pity party when things are new and not quite right, just yet, but that doesn't mean that you should wish the time away. I cried because I really do feel in my gut that I was meant to be a mother and I hate that I doubted myself or my instincts. 
I'm sure that I will continue to have moments where I doubt myself or question if I'm making the right decision, but I feel so genuinely happy and fulfilled knowing that my motherly instincts will always kick in and that Kory and I made the most beautiful baby boy. We're some blessed parents, that's for sure. And I promise to never wish time to hurry up, ever again. I want to soak up each season of life and really cherish it for what it is, a wonderful memory in the making.
Now if time could slow down just a tad, I'd be ever so grateful. I really need as much time as I can get to stare at this face and tickle those toes...
image cred: k. leo photography
Also, the happiest of happy birthdays to my sweet husband. He's been such a blessing in my life and to never know him as a father would have been such a waster, as he truly is one of the best. He helps me, supports me and encourages me in the best of ways and I'd never want to be without his company. Wish that guy a happy birthday! :)
xx,
Melissa Loren



2 comments:

  1. I found my super pregnant self tearing up as a read this. What a great reminder to find the joy in every journey! Thank you for being so candid about motherhood. :)

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad someone got something from this. It really is important to at least try and find the joy, even in the tough times. It makes things much more and enjoyable and you really will miss it at some point. :)

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