A few weeks ago Henry had to start "school," aka daycare. We call it school for Henry's sake, and they do have a preschool program for when he turns 3, but let's be honest-it's daycare. I had to start a new job after my mom decided to close our family restaurant and it was in our divorce agreement that H would start daycare just before he turned 3, for learning and socialization. *eyeroll* I know there are pros to daycare, but it's just hard for me to wrap my head around. Who is better or more qualified to watch my child than myself? Plus, it's not just for a few hours, it's a full day. He only goes a few days a week, but when he is there it's a long day. Usually lasting from about 7 am to 5 pm. A ten hour day just seems like so much for a tiny human and it breaks my heart. Especially since there are some days where I'm off, but he still has to go. He'll be starting his 4th week this week and I think we're both still struggling. I mean, I know I am. There is definitely some guilt, but I also just flat out miss spending all my time with my baby. It's been a big adjustment for him too, of course. Even just getting up much earlier than he's used to and figuring out that mom isn't there when he wakes up from naps. It's been rough and I'm convinced that I'll never get used to it, and even if I do, I'll never enjoy it. My free time should be spent with my child. He'll have plenty of years of school and away time. Is it just me? Does anyone else struggle with this? I think what makes it worse is the whole divorce thing. We already share him, so that was already less time with him, now factor in daycare and I'm just lost without my sugie. I know that's part of the deal though and I don't really get to complain about that. Then there's the pregnancy hormones, so my emotions are just through the roof! I just need all the baby snuggles and to be a stay at home mom!!! Hahahahaha. ;)
I keep praying that everything will get better and that Henry will really start enjoying school and I'll start accepting the space and growth.
Here are a few pics from his first day. One thing he does love-playing outside so much!