Monday, December 19, 2016

{Dear Henry}

The time is drawing near for baby sister to make her appearance and complete our family. I know that you are giddy and excited over the arrival of your sister, she's all you talk about. At least you're excited over everything that you can understand, anyway.

I have never had any concern over sharing the love between you two. I know some moms struggle with making room for baby number two, but I don't have that "fear." I know that my heart is already expanding and bursting with love. Loving the two of you is going to be natural and easy.

My worry is that you won't know how strong my love is, that just because the focus will shift a bit (newborns are a lot of work, bubba.), you will feel neglected or left out. I worry that I will ask you to be quiet too often, if sis is napping or just needing some calm time. I worry that I will ask you to do too much on your own. I worry that we won't have enough one on one time anymore. I worry that you will grow up too fast.

Although I worry, I know you are strong and resilient. Our bond is far too strong to be lessened. For this reason, I want you to know a few things. 
I want you to know how much I love you.
I want you to know that my love knows no boundaries.
I want you to know that you are the one who made me a mother.
Luce is going to be so lucky to proceed you. Do you know why? Because of you, I will be more patient, more relaxed and more tender. I will be more understanding. *I* will be more resilient. You taught me how to be a mother. You showed me sleepless nights and endless laughter. You showed me that I can push through anything, exhaustion, struggle, sickness, life. You taught me how to love fiercly and to protect another life. You showed me how to slow down, and how to be more present. You taught me to be a mother, Henry Harper.

So please remember how much I love you. Remember this when baby sister is crying or conquering a milestone and the focus is on her. Remember this when I'm holding her and trying to rock her to sleep. Remember this when I'm nursing her and it feels like you're on your own. Remember this when you need me. Remember how strong my love is and that no one will love the two of you more than I do.

Love always,
Momma

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